10 days

before the wedding and I am sick. I was actually hopeful in the beginning. The sore throat still isn't there unless I yawn. I wasn't blowing my nose too much. After I threw up, I felt so much better. That was Sunday. Today is Wednesday and between my mind feeling unsettled and, therefore, stressed from the disorder that is currently in my life, I am sick.

I feel contaminated.

 The fine print:
It's not really "disorder" per say. It's just that I'm Type A and want a routine yet cannot have one yet. Blah. And things are a little uncertain BUT WHEN THE FREAK ARE THINGS EVER CERTAIN!? So any way, I have a lot of things I'm waiting for and I'm not good at being patient. I get anxious and that sends my mind all over the place.  Be careful, I might throw up on you, literally and emotionally. Actually I really don't throw up - ever. The fact that I did and downplayed it is pretty good for me. PS is it possible to throw up and not have tears? any way. blah. (not the sound of throw up just the sound of my brain wishing it could shut off)

Double Roll

Thank you friends! He now has a wedding band, hopefully it fits. 

Now, those of you who know Eric, know he has an opinion on-almost-everything.  For some reason this still surprises me as if I forget he should just be a boy and not care about details.  But this is Eric, and he is different. This example was too good that I now have to share. 

Kayla: "I got toilet paper; it was on sale"
Eric: "Is it Charmin?"
Kayla: *the look that says are-you-kidding-me* - goes into the closet - "yes, actually"
Eric: "Oh good, double rolled?"
Kayla: *the look of death*
Eric: "What?! I'm picky about what touches my butt."
Kayla: *smile* "oh are you now?"
Eric: *enjoying this double entendre*
Kayla: *feeling pretty special*
Eric: "oh yeah"

Although knowing Eric was completely serious about what toilet paper he wants purchased, there is always a little humor to be found, even the dirty kind. Actually, always.

12 days

And does he have a wedding band? No, no he does not. However, two cheers for him because he finally figured out his ring size =)

So where do you find a cheap whatever ring that looks like a ring that doesn't fall off of dainty man fingers that you can get in store or made/shipped/received in 13 days?

I mean seriously . . . the only thing that is not an option right now is a ring pop because that's just too sticky. We do have some standards people. {he keeps insisting he won't wear it; I keep insisting he will; this is not a battle cause my word is gold - for real - white gold/titanium/or something strong - wear it, deal with it, it's happening}

PS - seeing my family and going through the temple with them and Eric was definitely one of the best experiences ever, not just "oh that was the best day" but it's a great feeling of a great beginning. And that's how I am going to explain it for those who ask "how did it go?"

San Diego Temple

I am looking for a lot of men who have an infinite capacity to not know what can't be done. - Henry Ford

I appreciate you few who try to catch up on my life and, to Eric's dismay, his life. Cause we all know I  have to mention him in some way. He's only about 90% of my free time. I don't know if he likes it that way, but I much prefer it. 

So the parents are coming into town and I get to see Rand for the first time in two years. So that's just freakin fantastic.  Eric moved into our apartment last weekend and I'm slowly moving in stuff. It's hit or miss on our luck, but at least we have new carpet and everything is clean. The kitchen may be super tiny, but it's a challenge I will at least attempt. The $15 craigslist microwave may heat up like the morning sun and our eating area may consist of a night stand and pillows BUT HEY it's temporary.  We just found a $10 table!! I still have to work tomorrow and Eric has a midterm (for once he is studying - I know I'm shocked too) BUT Friday is when I go through the temple and I can't believe it's already here. 

The concept of time truly does baffle me. And the greatness of truth is always astounding. I don't claim to know a lot of things, but truth in this life is found in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You just have to seek for the knowledge and find that peace within your heart and mind. It will come to those who truly want to know. 

Also - coming soon . . . 3 photoshoots! all before the wedding!

I just want to say

Thank you Rachel Johnson - for bringing your angles to my face

Thank you Devon Lamay for dealing with my thick hair, awesome eyes & sun reflection

Thank you Eric Smith for trying to play nice during the photo session
No thanks to the derisive man when we just admired his door.

Here are the pictures I liked from our shoot

by the wonderful Rachel Johnson

{MANY from the bridals, but I can't post them yet ;)}

Finally, we have some . . .

where did I put the dang mirror

I'm sitting here wondering if the internet is a blessing or a curse. This concept of sharing information can be overwhelming from time to time. Have you seen all the self help and mommy blogs that exist? I feel like a new standard has been created for raising children/families, living your life and creating things. Thank you pinterest. Although I have new ideas and have no excuse for boredom, I may forever feel inadequate. Oh Google Reader . . .

So I think we have to balance our lives. I am very entertained by some peoples stories and ideas. I feel like I can grow from them.  I also feel like it's nice to catch up with close family and friends who live on the opposite side of the country. However, I don't want to live the life of anyone else - just me (is this true? yes. maybe, well for now we'll go with yes) and there may be a fine line. You don't want to get so caught up in creating something new that you forget what you have right now is perfect.

We were raised without the internet and look how awesome we turned out.

On another note, I am so proud of Eric. I'm very excited for our life together and although quite anxious, I know we'll figure everything out on our own time.

just like how to fit 140 people in a 100 max room. 

Oh and, Rand is home

Biggest news of the freakin year (if I wasn't getting married) is that Elder Looper has returned from serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the Brazilians in northern, you guessed it, Brazil.  And it's a sibling's duty to clog up some of that spotlight =)

Welcome home brother. We are so glad to have you back in the states!! I could only imagine the airport welcome and was just about ready to cry in the car when I realized he was still sitting on a plane and I was in my car about 4 states north. Rationality came back in and I just got excited for him. It's a very bitter sweet feeling for a returned missionary (I should know I never served a mission, but apparently I can imagine a lot of things). I get to see him in one week and couple that with my first time going through the temple and you know, that whole marriage thing, you may be able to spell out anxiety attack.  I AM THE WORST PERSON AT ANTICIPATION. I can't wait till I no longer have bladder control.

Roses are overrated

I don't think I'm a wedding planner - but I think I could one day be - if I cared enough about wasting other people's money. It would be easier if I was there and could touch the flowers and taste the food, but alas, I'm just queen googler. 

Like this search on flowers. I basically know what roses, tulips and hydrangeas look like. That's it. It ends there. So how am I supposed to know what to tell the flower lady to order? I sent her some centerpiece pictures and asked her to send me some options. And then I google searched. Here are what I think would be pretty general decor wedding flowers. dun dun dun . . .

moon-lite/shade carnations, Calla Lilies, Chrysanthemum, lavender, Lilacs!, Hydrangea, tulips, Globemaster' Bulb, Anthurium, Muscari, Delphiniums, and Peonies and to some peoples dismay, I still think baby's breathe can be done right. 

Sometimes I think I fail as a girl. Was I raised to smell the flowers and ask what they were called? I don't even think my mom would know and Google (I have no idea how we survived pre-Google life) was nonexistent back in those ancient years. So kudos to all you encyclopedia and nursery nerds. I just walk by and say "those are pretty" just for some man to say something that dies in two days is not worth the price. But my happiness is!! It always comes with a cost =)

...kiddingnotkidding...

I'm of the equator

Next time - those who really want to be with us on that one important day - can join us in Costa Rica. Obviously, sweety, I'm not saying there will be a next time.  But that's my advice for those who have yet to get trapped.  Get out of the opinions and schedule planning while you can. Be selfish. Horrah!

P.S. SO NOT READY FOR WINTER I WILL DIE. I say this every year and I seriously have no idea how I make it out alive. The beginning winter chills taunt me. But good thing I have a perma-snuggle man. Well, until he tells me I'm too hot and wants to turn on the fan instead of getting under 5 blankets. Oh how I love my warmth. I'd so much rather be sweating than shivering any day!

Pam

me: just went upstairs to get some milk

  and the lady goes

  you're out of milk down there?

4:01 PM i say: we're out of everything

  the boss people are in the conference room, i smile when i'm walking by but i get all insecure and all of a sudden wish i didnt go upstairs

  then the main guy comes out and into the kitchen to get a soda

  the lady had told me "why don't you bring a 2% down" i said "okay"

4:02 PM so i'm carrying that out and he says you go for the healthy stuff i go for the bad stuff - i.e. soda. i just smile and laugh.

  i am leaving and she asks if that's full; i said basically, she says "why dont you get a full one" and i just said "this happened to be the one i pulled"

4:03 PM she actually gets up and i said "it's fine, the boys can come up here if they need another one"

  i hate pam.

  and i hope boss man knows it.

 Liz: hahaha

4:04 PM fire her  The joke is, the secretary really is named Pam.  The other half of the joke is that we miss our old secretary Gigi who we may not have appreciated at the time because all we knew was greatness. We never had to go upstairs to get things. We never had to carry it ourselves. And she didn't sound retarded. Gigi has been replaced twice and to no avail, that desk still suffers from incompetence. The joke is that I got the last one fired. I'm sure she left because she couldn't handle it.  I had nothing to do with it I promise! I just make threats and complain when I don't get my cereal. People know not to screw with Kayla's food.