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Day 2 - Let's ride. 10.5 hours

Day 1 - marriage license, realized FL decided to be cold, pray for the sun, received sun, saw Bree's new baby girl, Aubree, mani/pedi, wedding venue, open presents, dinner with friends, goodnight lover, our last single kiss.

Day 0 - We got married 11am, November 5th in the Orlando Temple. I love him. It was a wonderful wedding, exactly what I pictured. So many people made the reception come to life. I was too busy trying to make sure I talked to everyone that I didn't feel like I adequately enjoyed it for all the effort and stress, but I hope everyone else did. What matters most is holding Eric's hand across the altar. He was so good, patient, and loving. He's staring at me right now. He's my everything. I've never felt this comfortable with anyone. I even like his scruff.

And this is a new beginning for Mr and Mrs Smith

3 days

I feel like I am waking up in a straight jacket. My tan walls are all bare in my small room. One last container holding my last few belongings. One last load of laundry and some base board cleaning and I am gone. My twin bed still needs a home, but outside of that and a few dangling hangers, I am moved out. Moved out and moving on. I totally feel like my mind and energy is in another place/point in time. It's increasing I think, my capacity to move forward - I am moving forward.

A year ago I didn't think this was possible. I had no idea what you looked like. I would dream of someone who shared a home with me. I could dream of our home and the things we would be doing, but I didn't see your face. It's weird to think you're him; how did you find me? We are so lucky.  You meet so many people in this world. One will become your eternal companion and it's the sweetest gift I've ever received - the chance to meet you.

In 3 days we will say yes. In three days we will walk out hand in hand as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It's not about the name exactly. It's what taking on your name means. You are my shelter from the world. You and I will be bound to become one, spiritually. I am yours, forever.

PPS to the 4th day

I know. You people are thinking I have too much time on my hands.

I can't sit still for one moment.

This mug speaks to me. And has inspired my to whine.

I know, I know, I hardly need inspiration

I just want a snack; I don't want to have to talk to you  - creeper in purple - in the kitchen.  I will seriously turn back around and try again 5 minutes later. Oh heavens - the elevator is the worst. If you get enough people in there, it's fine. People know to hold their convo or people are already talking. But if it's just you two?
worst-5-seconds-of-the-day.

Until I step into my car and grandma is turning the corner. Almost worse than the ones who slam on breaks at a green light to get over into a new lane or just because they are that freakin ridiculous.

Oh I want to kill them.

PS to the 4th day

You know what's funny? When Eric can quote my blog 

and then I know I'm in trouble. 

"oh, so you read my blog today..."

I smile. He smiles and shakes his head.

I should be nice.

I don't want him to run away.

i-love-that-man.

Saying those types of things makes him shake his head

Babe, I'm shouting it to the world!

4 days

I love Eric Austin Smith very much.

What is on your mind 4 days before your wedding?

"What am I forgetting?"

Did I write them a thank you? How does my side of the closet triple his, yet I have nothing to wear? How else can I prepare him? prepare myself? I really wish I wasn't working right now. Getting my legs waxed is going to kill, but maybe it won't be so bad. I still haven't talked to the photographer. When can I get my nails done? What if I don't like any of the photos? I wonder what everything will look like. I wonder what I will look like. I wonder how much I'll care. I wonder how tired I'll be. I'm tired right now and still don't want to be at work. Where is my planner? Did I take my birth control this morning? I hope my allergies go away. I should drink more water. I should learn how to cook. I can't wait until life is normal with a routine.  Oh man I really am so lucky. I just want to be with him. Yes, I am so ready for this. Oh, but a 12 hour car ride sucks.  Who's car are we taking? We still have to put the playlist together. I swear boys don't have to deal with anything when they get married - they just quadruple the emotion that rests around them. I hope Eric doesn't forget to pay the rent. He won't. I hate how much our rent is. It will be so much easier when my name is changed. But oh my gosh so much to change. Oh right, it's all worth it. I'm running with that idea at least.

5 days

I can spend the rest of my life, loving him, taking walks to new places, eating new things, taking pictures where ever/how ever I want, reading under whatever tree or by whatever window, playing with children, and making the scriptures really mean something. 

It was Halloween and we may or may not have escaped the costumes.

6 days

It was Sunday - Stake Conference - so church was only 2 hours long and we all met together (like 6+ ward buildings together) - for those who don't know the LDS lingo. It centered around the importance of family and the temple and the testimony of what it means to belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So refreshing and wonderful to know that the last time I went to the temple was yesterday and that I am getting married this weekend. I think I am on the right course. Soo many good/amazing things happening. Once upon a time, I wasn't sure if I would ever be cool enough.

Speaking of cool enough, I can't cook meat.

Apparently Eric and I {yes I'm including you Eric} fail at "cooking" meat. Maybe I like it rare and raw. Just maybe I'm like that.  I'll forever live off a crock pot. Leave it to me to screw that up.

We also attended the Jon Schmidt concert at the DC Temple, Visitor's Center. It was AWESOME. Apparently everyone else knew it would be and it was already so crowded 40 minutes prior to his first note {it's just known that we get started late what ever the function may be, so the fact that people got there early is itself a standing ovation}.

It's freezing and the worst thing is getting into my freezing car in the mornings, but the fall colors are still surrounding us and I get to forget it all this weekend with weather in the 70s. Oh man, so excited.

Eric is trying to organize our small apartment and I think I prefer to just sit there and listen to him ask "what about here?" - "what if we move this there?" - "stack these here?"  How about I freak out when he wants to stack plastic containers to the ceiling in our bedroom, but for the most part, I just let him organize. I may reorganize it all again once I'm there. hahahaha oh man. This is so true.

7th day?

Did I miss it? aw shucks. 

I spent it sleeping in, going to the temple with Danielle, coming home to my lover snuggling/eating/talking/etc, stake conference, grocery store, chuck, and a horrible trip back home in the cold.

Time for bed. It's the first snow of the new winter.

good thing I'm going to FL this weekend.

Getting married has so many perks.

It's my last Saturday single!!!!

8 days

I am not really good with compliments/gifts/center of attention things. I don't ever really know how to react and I most always (I know that's contradicting) do the wrong thing, as in say everything but "thank you, you are so kind." 

Oh you think my hair is nice? "I didn't even do anything to it"; oh you got me a gift? "you did not need to spend money on me." you think I'm talented? "please, whatever."

It's just  . . . difficult for me to accept that someone was sincerely being nice; I am not discrediting you. I don't think it's my lack of confidence, or my thoughts that you don't mean that, it's just hard to hear it for some reason, yet you like to hear nice things from time to time? Oh the life of you-can-never-please-me.

MAYBE I'M JUST REALLY HUMBLE or maybe it's a form of pride.
weird irony?

I don't know why I always worry about people feeling obligated.  I guess you want people to think nice things, but it's more like you want to hear them inadvertently, maybe a card. Same with gifts, I love getting them in the mail, but I'm always afraid my reaction won't be satisfactory enough live. I'm just not one of those people.  It's like when people sing happy birthday to you; do you just stare at the cake till they are done? ugh. so awkward.

People know I don't just say thank you or give a compliment without actually meaning it, maybe because it's so rare, haha. Whatever. It's not, somehow I've managed to be pretty straight-up if people ask or I cower and run away before I'm forced to say something I don't really mean. I admire most people in all their efforts, but please, don't ask me if I like your photo.

So I am really excited we now have our nice pots and pans, as well as pyrex bakeware. Super nice of my coworkers, again, they shouldn't have, but I'm completely honored and excited to have them while at the same time being able to put the money we would have spent on them, elsewhere. 

We also received a waffle maker from the Osmond Family

And I was kinda excited about that. 

I told Eric I wonder if they receive lots of invites

and then feel obligated

of course I would think something like that.

Thank you everyone for your love, prayers, support and/or gifts/compliments.

The end

9 days

I feel obligated to do a count down, not because I want to waste away my single days, but just to enjoy every last bit of this blog.

You know what I wish? That I tried to be a nurse or at least take science classes. I am so one of those google self diagnose-ers, it's horrible. I wish I had some validity to my justifications. Whatever, I'll just say I'm right. I am now thinking I have allergies. I just have no idea what my body is freakin out at. The doxycycline I was on for 5 days? Perfume? Winter pollen? Not sure what else is new in my life.

Any way - when I'm not on a eye swelling/nose itching twitch - all is good. Work is throwing me a dinner party tonight at Maggianos (sp?). I'm actually very excited about the menu and I'm thinking I can taste it now. Eric is bailing for class. He knows I love being the center of attention. We're already one. I'm representing him at social functions. Great.

So on that note, I'll go for the food and casual conversation. I'm almost done reading The Help, okay not really. A 530 page book, two evenings and I'm only on page 204. Two evenings and Eric finished a 900 page book. He thinks/reads faster than I do. I tell him he has the gift of speed read. Good thing we'll know what we can still do when we're 80 and immobile. Eric will perfect tying knots in a circle. I'll read and tell him to put the rope down =) PS - It's a good story. PPS I'm not saying Eric would ever be suicidal nor would I make make light of a serious topic, okay I may do the latter.

And to that end! I will stop whining about all my imperfections.  Apparently it's really hard for me to focus on the things that are right. There are so many wrong things that preoccupy my mind. Maybe one day I'll do something about that =)

Love Always,
Kay