5 days

I can spend the rest of my life, loving him, taking walks to new places, eating new things, taking pictures where ever/how ever I want, reading under whatever tree or by whatever window, playing with children, and making the scriptures really mean something. 

It was Halloween and we may or may not have escaped the costumes.

Ecstasy

I want to be everything, today. It's a problem. I can't say I plan on getting over it.

I have narrowed down three things that move me and get me excited. I always move, but few things really move me in that way. I would prefer these things at any point in time. If I could somehow make everything involve these three things, well I'd be broke, but SO incandescently happy. So outside of you, honey, I am inspired by the following passions:

1. photographs

A no brainer, I know. BUT I don't think you understand to the extent. I don't always carry around my camera because it's heavy and a pain to deal with quite frankly BUT I stare at them. I see things as stills and then they pick up and move again. They are life - captured. Colors, lighting, secret smiles and glances, innocence, peace, frustration, love, pain, hope, truth... I think it's about capturing God's hand, and it leaves me standing there at times in complete awe. It calms me.

I can spend hours editing or just thinking about new projects.

2. food

Yes, I like eating. However, I love the idea of creating just as much. There are SO many options it can be intimidating and overwhelming as you begin, and heaven forbid there are just as many ways to go wrong BUT it builds and strengthens you (or it can tear you down, but you can choose and that's the beauty of it!!).

The aspects of food that I love: color, variation & experimentation. I am lucky to have so much variety, and I want to use it. I can stare at pictures and recipes all day. And yes, I dream of having my future space with my own ingredients, and therefore, freedom to create. And then there is the sensation of bringing that fork/spoon to your mouth and you just sinking back in your chair. I have to admit, sometimes I just sit and eat, food being right then and there my focus.

If you want to become addicted too; go here: http://foodgawker.com/

Now, I just have to become good at it!!

Hungarian Stew

BBQ Chicken & Cheese potatoes

3. books

I feel like I never make enough time for this. I like everything from math text books to scriptures to Nonfiction to Ender's Game. Let's not forget about all the blogs and news that floats around on the Internet. But nothing beats the idea of buying books. I love the smell of new books, but there is also charm in older books. I can't wait to build an actual library. I am still trying to finish Black Like Me and John Adams. I have Fountainhead and Blink next on the list. But it truly goes on and on. Then there are the scriptures and the talks from prophets and apostles. So much knowledge to be gained!

I wish I read faster, but I feel as if I have to understand every word and really capture the purpose of every paragraph. I don't ever remember all of it though, so I should just read faster and get through it, then come back to it and read it again to catch things I missed. Repeat on my book list? A little intense.

My favorite childhood book was Secret Garden, and now? oh don't even ask that question.

Now....

What I wished I was obsessed with?

Music and Exercise. In time...

I did purchase a guitar last year and a new road bike is still at the forefront of my mind (until I realized my best friend is getting married in OR and flights cost $500) and did you read my last blog post? oh yeah - doing AWESOME ;)

Because I work and it's slow and I can't actually DO what I love, I have discovered a few websites that entertain me for the moment. It's good to get an organized plan so that one day you'll be ready for action:

Finances

Ideas/Interest sharing: pinterest

Food (because it's worth copying again)

Photos my own PR ;)

i love country music.

Jake Owen could sing to me the rest of my life:

Don't Think I Can't Love You

or just stare at me, whatever.

The rest of his songs really aren't that good.

Morals are limited these days.

Country music fuels my passions.

just sayin.

Honey, deal.

Listen to the Sound of the Wind

This morning I was focusing on everything that was going wrong and I had an awful morning, but once I got to class, I realized how stupid and narrow-minded I was being. I love the guys in my class; my day didn't just completely turned around, but I realized I wasn't not going to fail. Life will still go on and I can still be happy...it's my choice.

So here's a list of things I love, that make me smile, that make me look at the bigger picture and move forward. They are in no particular order; I promise.

1. Country music. When I start getting stressed or disheartened, a country song always comes to mind. I hum a little bit of the tune and I smile. Country music leaves no room for stress and worry, only well-grounded values: family, friends, love.

2. Pictures. I like holding pictures. The biggest downside to digital is the fact that I never develop pictures anymore. I'm going to start doing this. Print my favorite ones and try and have a favorite picture for the week...or for the month, depending...Either way...the idea of capturing emotion and saturating colors and discovering new angles...makes me happy.

3. When my best friends back home give me a call. It makes my day to know that they still care and that we're still there for each other. I love them to death. They understand me and still love me. I couldn't ask for better friends. I can always count on them, even when we all get caught up in our own lives. We are all at the beginning of getting older and moving on, it's fun to see how time changes us. We keep crossing our fingers it's for the better.

4. Hearing my mother tell me about one of her crazy stories.

5. Emailing my dad during class

6. The closeness of my family. How we all accept each other.

7. Sunny days, flip flops and dreams of the water

8. Driving to drive, with the radio turned up just enough to block out unwanted thoughts

9. The still of the night and the quite feeling a new snowfall brings

10. Children. I imagine what I would be like as a mom, playing with them and knowing what that kind of love is like.

11. Helping others have a better day.

12. Flowers

13. When Danny cares

14. Looper Road and a home cooked meal

15. Hearing that I'm not the only one who is confused

16. Travel. Seeing new things. Friendly strangers. Having the energy to meet new people.

17. Basketball games; especially with people who will cheer and yell with you; especially those against Utah...and it's nice when we win =)


I think I'm going to go get my library card now. I finally got a letter with my name and address and I am going to go check out a book. I could use some suggestions. I never read for fun anymore. I like books that inspire me, but capture me with an interesting story plot as well. And I like learning about real things.

But maybe I'll take a quick nap. I haven't been to bed before 2am the past couple of nights. It might be good for my sanity, while the chicken is thawing for my quesadillas ...yummy

Word is saying I misspelled quesadillas. Hilarie came all the way in here to confirm that I was correct. If HilBil backs me, up I always go with it.