let me try to be someone i am not.

I know you don't care; it's cool I'm over it.
I know you care - and I'm trying to get over it.
these are two different people

but while I'm talking about not caring
here I go

1. hair in the drain. ew
2. you want input yet you do NOTHING. Your opinion revoked
3. hypocrite. you were so passionate about keeping preferences to yourself, now what? liar.
4. I might just avoid you the rest of my life.
5. however, I'd be really excited for you if you decided to exercise.

that's horrible. every day i wake up wanting to be that person that everyone loves. the nice girl that would do anything for you, yet isn't fake about it. i want to wake up being someone i am not. which is stupid. i'll never be that girl who bites her tongue or better yet - never has a bad thought about other people. i judge. and then i joke about it. i judge myself worse and justify it. i don't tease people. i can't say never - but that isn't my humor. but my humor is still dry. it's quick. it's sarcastic and real. i see the glass half empty. i'm that person who sees the other side because i'm worried you're getting your hopes up. i show my excitement for your dream by seeing if it could actually be real.

the only thing not real in my life. is my dream about
you.

and look where that's getting me.

people think being the way i am makes me not happy. as in, i can't possibly be happy unless i have my hair in pigtails and say how the flowers looked so pretty today. in that cherpy i'm so high on life voice. no - i dont ever jump up and down. i smile a lot. i laugh a lot. i keep it real. dig?

i trust my real self with very, very few people.