Normally, I would not be patient enough to stop, but today I let the old lady push her grocery cart across the cross walk. She smiled without teeth and waved, then smiled and waved again. She made me smile.
Do you think it's true that we don't know what we're missing? Or can some people just be happy even when their position in life is... pushing a cart. Right there in that moment did I realize how completely different our worlds can be. I've never known what it is like to starve because I could not buy food. No - I avoid a car payment so I love my 99' and I've always hated name brands - but I have everything I need.
Any way, it's really cold tonight and although my house is chilly, it's a really nice house and it's clean. Thanks to my OCD self - the house is clean. Maybe I am strange, but I'll just stand and think about how I can rearrange this room or what I could do to add a few touches. I can't leave until I see that it looks good from each angle. I won't get it off my mind until I just do it. So it's clean, and it's organized and my mind feels lighter - more at ease. I don't know how my other roommates slept. Then they wanted to know where I put things.
It's just so hard to sit still when there is so much potential. And I'm not one to just sit around and talk about it. It's a project, and I guess in a weird way, it has always been my thing. I can't sleep until a problem (that I know I can solve) is solved.
Speaking of, it's one of the worst feelings knowing someone may need an answer and I have it, but I can't get a hold of them. Granted, sometimes people learn best by self discovery and we have to let them. OR if you know you gave the wrong information and need to correct it. I won't rest until I do. A friend asked me for help and I couldn't really assist - yet then I found myself looking up all this information and finding the answer. I was like I have to tell her I resolved her problem. When people come to me, I can't let it go until there is a sufficient answer. I get really excited about it, but of course at first I'm like "no I can't solve anything."
I get it now dad, I get it.
And you're right, not everything is a problem that can just be solved. But give me a break, it's what I do for a living. It's kinda what we all have to do - anticipate. *and the power of the analyticals combine...
I said ya'll today on the phone at work and quickly changed it to "you guys." I realized I'll have to work on that - so hard! I'm still working on getting more comfortable. YOU KNOW it takes me awhile to get comfortable. I hate the anxiety of a phone ringing and it's my queue. I don't know if Obama really cares about the data we collect, but if you're ever curious about the demographics and testing levels of students in your area, I have that knowledge. Yeah - super cool. Good thing I love the people I work with.
Conference went by super fast. And all I remember is that 1. Slowing down and going back to the basics might help me really appreciate what all I have going for me and that life really is good, 2. I need to see those good things and be as grateful and happy as President Monson - even though that's impossible, 3. I have an awesome family and that is more important than anything I can do on my own, 4. Bettering my time is still a well needed accomplishment, 5. Doing nothing is always easier.
I did get my cell phone rebate, all of my cell phone being paid for, but then I got a parking ticket to counter balance that. awesome. I didn't tell my dad because I knew he'd tell me exactly what I told myself. And as he got the letter in the mail (curse not being totally separated yet) he solidified my thoughts. I paid it though, nearing the 30 day mark, and NOW I get the letter saying "It's in review." I'm afraid to be optimistic with the police dept.
I thought an hour and a few brake pads later I'd be set to leave Harry's. Four hours and $750 later I still don't have my car. Yeah - you can't think about that for too long. It is what it is. It's like taxes, I pay for my freedom. You just pay it. You have to live. WELCOME TO LIVING. in DC with potholes. At least my dead brake didn't kill me. I'M ALIVE.
Until I end up pushing carts without teeth... (cross a line? we joke, but that's someones real life)
I still have to make a dentist appointment. and see a dermo and a doc.
oh dang.
I'M ALIVE!
PS still a heart breaker. Honestly, you are just in my head; I am not sure you are real because the older I get - the harder it is for me to find "normal" people. I now extent this to girls as well. Come on light hearts, decent groomers, honest humors, caring passionettes, hearts of gold- where are you?
I know, I ask that question a lot.
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