Getting Older Body and Mind

I looked in the mirror the other day, and I noticed how I look older. It's weird. I'm not sure what to think of it. The body will do whatever it does, and I'm sure I'll slowly age in ways I don't desire, but I'll learn to embrace cellulite and wrinkles when they come. Moving on.

This week wasn't the best, but at the same time, it wasn't the worst. I pulled my first real all-nighter. Where I didn't sleep for 24 hours. The next night I got 5 hours, going to bed a 4 in the morning was an accomplishment.

I realized how easy it is to start lowering your standards. "I've had worse" is really not good enough. However, oddly enough it was like a rush. Something about being awake when everyone else was sleeping, about living when your body was telling you to crash.

I will not record what happened to me in this blog, however, my best friends know how no sleep works on your awareness capabilities. I forgot something pretty important. I still wonder how I managed to do that, but alas when your mind is preoccupied on 50 other things, the simple things become...less prevalent I suppose.

And something most random occurred later that day. It involved a boy in a suit, 20 minutes of fate, the library, and a "seriously?" Updates later...maybe

Today is Easter.

I'm sorry to say, it didn't even really hit me. Of course you can't always expect waking up with easter baskets and hunting for eggs with the cousins in the yard, but I still kinda missed it. I blame it on the busyness of school. Does homework consider holidays? Does homework consider my focus on Christ and family? No, no it does not...

Alas I know it's my fault. I should better manage my time. I used to be so good at it. But I also used to stress out a lot. And I prefer the more chilled me. It's great.

But getting older is shaping me. Getting older doesn't mean waking up for another day, although it has something to do with it. It means today or within the next hour, you have a new opportunity. You either make them, or they come to you. A good person works with both. And you learn, which means you'll probably make mistakes (saying the wrong thing etc...), but it expands your narrow world.

I'm still bad at timing. I'm still bad at communicating. But I'm really good at trying. I'm really good at caring. I'm really good at loving. Does that count? Kinda

My ignorance lies in the fact that I assume people think like me. I assume people can handle imperfection and get over it. Some, however, cannot.

I love being shaped. Because I can't wait to see what it's going to look like some day. As long as I focus on Christ's vision. As long as I allow myself to be perfected in Him.

O PS I went to General Conference for the first time. It was great =) The church is true. I love my family. I love my friends. I love the unlimited potential. I know there is a purpose.