the best one is waiting to be told

I remember the first time I saw him.

I remember what I was wearing

I remember thinking the semester was almost over, and it was all almost over

I was so bitter and ready to have the other one out of my life

I was me again. Finally, I didn't need anyone's approval or reproach

It was my worst semester and I had to be cracked out

because I forgot to wear a bra to school

who does that?

We don't always like remembering the past.

Sometimes I want the rewind, skip, or freeze button

but that's what makes real life different from the movies

that and the fact that your hair NEVER looks that good when you wake up

I wish I had permanent makeup too.

Let's not even pretend I know how to wear make up.

Any way, life has a way of putting little trigger points along your path

You think you're moving forward but then -

you're caught of guard

and for a second you get excited again

just to remember the fatal ending.

in any given second - that happy day on the hill

can turn into a rainy hail storm and a broken ankle

I hate that feeling. The feeling of loving something you know you don't want.

Sometimes I wonder that instead of fighting to forget

I should embrace that same passion and let it rest

If I try to forget, I end up settling because I want something to cover it

so badly. How do you take that same passion

and put it towards something else?

In other words - how do you embrace the storm?

It's why I moved to a place of strangers

It's why I bought a guitar

I want to forget but only to move on - move forward

and I want to put that energy into better goals.

They never know how much they affect you,

not when you're on the other side.

The side that would have given everything they didn't deserve

I guess you really do love someone when you want to be there after

the weaknesses and the bad moods - even after they've offended you.

It's not dumb to be the last one caring.

And it's not dumb to say you care.

Yes, kiss me. But there has to be something more.

The stories of the past are just ideas

and the best one is waiting to be told.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Teresa, you are Yang. And I choose to be Meredith

and we'll get there.

"You did not come into the world to fail. You came into the world to succeed. you have accomplished much so far. It is only the beginning. As you move forward on the trail of life, keep the banner of faith in self ever before you. You may not be a genius. You may not be exceptionally smart. But you can be good, and you can try. And you will be amazed at what might happen when in faith you take a step forward."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

His words mean everything to me.

I mean, how does it make any sense that a tree starts off as a seed

and that humans are created in the belly of a mother.

life can always be amazing - because it is.