I think I just need to accept the fact that I cannot know everything. Maybe if I say it enough times I'll be able to accept it and cope with my churning mind that wants me to fill in the bubble of A or B. I suck at 50/50 guesses. No.
who implanted this requisite to feel grown-up in my mind. child, please.
an interviewer asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up. i still really hate that question.
i'm growing up as we speak. and i am who i want to be now. but that isn't true. cause kayla doesn't do anything with finger snaps. maybe people just ask it because it gets you thinking and you can somehow read into peoples character. dont judge the man who wants to be a football coach from the other who wants to be a doctor. but professions are what we immediately assume. what if i told them "i just want to be a good person."
take that.
so maybe i am grown up.
Kids, I got taller and found hips (mom lied about the boobs), but in a lot of ways I am still that timid, size zero girl with braces. (minus all three of those adjectives) I thought school was hard then, just wait until you enter the school of life. Your parents do what they can and mold you with their expectations and philosophies. Some you rebel against and others you naively or intuitively accept. My neighborhood and 1st period defined my struggles then. Now, it's everything I do, don't do, think about doing, etc...
FYI grown ups still guess sometimes.
BUT ITS NOT A BAD THING. none of it is bad.
i was born to be me. and i define that.
Just believe in doing. Don't stop doing good things. If you want to dance in the street, do it. If you want to sit by the water and paint a stream, do it. If you want to become a cook, spread aromas. Dance to remind people to stay young. Paint the picture to remind people of God's gifts. Cook for the widow who hates cooking for herself.
Don't let rejection pull you down. Just know it won't all make sense. Life is painted strokes at a time. And we have to paint them and let God help us pull it all together.
in my "mature" state of mind, i learned that laughter makes everything better. and if you don't do things, you'll never have things to laugh about.
This week I kept score in a gym class where team captains picked their classmates one by one. I felt bad for the last girl with glasses. She probably doesn't know that it doesn't matter if she's not good at dodge ball. The boys just want to pick the ones who will win. And none of it matters. I didn't know this then either.
who implanted this requisite to feel grown-up in my mind. child, please.
an interviewer asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up. i still really hate that question.
i'm growing up as we speak. and i am who i want to be now. but that isn't true. cause kayla doesn't do anything with finger snaps. maybe people just ask it because it gets you thinking and you can somehow read into peoples character. dont judge the man who wants to be a football coach from the other who wants to be a doctor. but professions are what we immediately assume. what if i told them "i just want to be a good person."
take that.
so maybe i am grown up.
Kids, I got taller and found hips (mom lied about the boobs), but in a lot of ways I am still that timid, size zero girl with braces. (minus all three of those adjectives) I thought school was hard then, just wait until you enter the school of life. Your parents do what they can and mold you with their expectations and philosophies. Some you rebel against and others you naively or intuitively accept. My neighborhood and 1st period defined my struggles then. Now, it's everything I do, don't do, think about doing, etc...
FYI grown ups still guess sometimes.
BUT ITS NOT A BAD THING. none of it is bad.
i was born to be me. and i define that.
Just believe in doing. Don't stop doing good things. If you want to dance in the street, do it. If you want to sit by the water and paint a stream, do it. If you want to become a cook, spread aromas. Dance to remind people to stay young. Paint the picture to remind people of God's gifts. Cook for the widow who hates cooking for herself.
Don't let rejection pull you down. Just know it won't all make sense. Life is painted strokes at a time. And we have to paint them and let God help us pull it all together.
in my "mature" state of mind, i learned that laughter makes everything better. and if you don't do things, you'll never have things to laugh about.
This week I kept score in a gym class where team captains picked their classmates one by one. I felt bad for the last girl with glasses. She probably doesn't know that it doesn't matter if she's not good at dodge ball. The boys just want to pick the ones who will win. And none of it matters. I didn't know this then either.
*snap yo fingers*
do it do it do it do it
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